My Plan to Make The Mets A Contender

So here's the plan...

I apply for a job with the Yankees. I eat a calzone, EVERYDAY, for 4 months near the central venting system at the stadium and convince the senile George Steinbrenner that I AM in fact, George Costanza. I then sell him on converting EVERY concession stand to all Tyson chicken. Instead of hotdogs -- chicken dogs. Instead of pretzels -- chicken twists. Instead of beer -- alcoholic chicken.

What Steinbrener doesn't know is, the papers that I had him sign were documents saying that he would buy the Mets for 200% over book value (about 2 box Frites and a Shake Shack burger), and give the Yankees to the Wilpons. Now wait, I know what your saying, how would savvy George Steinbrenner fall for this scheme? Simple. Like I said before, he's senile. When good old DJ presented him with his ring on Monday, he was quoted asking Hal: "Why is this bi-racial flat headed fan proposing to me?."

There is now an ultimate swap of Baseball in New York. In a matter of months, the Steinbrenner regime does everything it can do to make the Mets into a contender. They manage to bring in Roy Oswalt, Adrian Gonzales, Bobby Valentine, and convince The Hawaiian Hammer, Benny Agbayani to re-surface and give it another go. Before you know it, the team in Queens has a dynasty on its hands.

What ever happened to the Yanks and the Wilpons? Well the Wilpons got word on a fake idea to convert all their concession stands to Tyson Chicken, AND THEY LOVED IT. They began to sell off AROD, CC, Mo, and Jorge for pennies on the dollar to finance the Stadium wide chicken transformation. Before you know it, Brian Mehlmen is texting every Yankee fan that THEY, should convert to being a Mets fan-And he finally gets his revenge.